H.R.3 -- No Taxpayer Funding for Handjob Act (Introduced in House - IH)
112th CONGRESS
1st Session
H. R. 3
To prohibit taxpayer funded handjobs and to provide for conscience protections, and for other purposes.HR 3 IH
112th CONGRESS
1st Session
H. R. 3
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
January 20, 2011
A BILL
To prohibit taxpayer funded handjobs and to provide for conscience protections, and for other purposes.
Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,
SECTION 1. SHORT TITLE.
This Act may be cited as the 'No Taxpayer Funding for Handjob Act'.
SEC. 2. PROHIBITING TAXPAYER FUNDED HANDJOBS AND PROVIDING FOR CONSCIENCE PROTECTIONS.
Title 1 of the United States Code is amended by adding at the end the following new chapter:
`CHAPTER 4--PROHIBITING TAXPAYER FUNDED HANDJOBS AND PROVIDING FOR CONSCIENCE PROTECTIONS
`SEC. 301. PROHIBITION ON FUNDING FOR HANDJOBS.
`No funds authorized or appropriated by Federal law, and none of the funds in any trust fund to which funds are authorized or appropriated by Federal law, shall be expended for any handjob.
`SEC. 302. PROHIBITION ON FUNDING FOR HEALTH BENEFITS PLANS THAT COVER HANDJOB.
`None of the funds authorized or appropriated by Federal law, and none of the funds in any trust fund to which funds are authorized or appropriated by Federal law, shall be expended for health benefits coverage that includes coverage of handjob.
`SEC. 303. PROHIBITION ON TAX BENEFITS RELATING TO HANDJOB.`For taxable years beginning after the date of the enactment of this section--
`(1) no credit shall be allowed under the internal revenue laws with respect to amounts paid or incurred for a handjob or with respect to amounts paid or incurred for a health benefits plan (including premium assistance) that includes coverage of handjob,
`(2) for purposes of determining any deduction for expenses paid for medical care of the taxpayer or the taxpayer's spouse or dependents, amounts paid or incurred for a handjob or for a health benefits plan that includes coverage of handjob shall not be taken into account, and
`(3) in the case of any tax-preferred trust or account the purpose of which is to pay medical expenses of the account beneficiary, any amount paid or distributed from such an account for a handjob shall be included in the gross income of such beneficiary.
`(1) no credit shall be allowed under the internal revenue laws with respect to amounts paid or incurred for a handjob or with respect to amounts paid or incurred for a health benefits plan (including premium assistance) that includes coverage of handjob,
`(2) for purposes of determining any deduction for expenses paid for medical care of the taxpayer or the taxpayer's spouse or dependents, amounts paid or incurred for a handjob or for a health benefits plan that includes coverage of handjob shall not be taken into account, and
`(3) in the case of any tax-preferred trust or account the purpose of which is to pay medical expenses of the account beneficiary, any amount paid or distributed from such an account for a handjob shall be included in the gross income of such beneficiary.
`SEC. 304. LIMITATION ON FEDERAL FACILITIES AND EMPLOYEES.
`No health care service furnished--
`(1) by or in a health care facility owned or operated by the Federal Government; or
`(2) by any physician or other individual employed by the Federal Government to provide health care services within the scope of the physician's or individual's employment,
may include handjob.
`(1) by or in a health care facility owned or operated by the Federal Government; or
`(2) by any physician or other individual employed by the Federal Government to provide health care services within the scope of the physician's or individual's employment,
may include handjob.
`SEC. 305. CONSTRUCTION RELATING TO SEPARATE COVERAGE.
`Nothing in this chapter shall be construed as prohibiting any individual, entity, or State or locality from purchasing separate handjob coverage or health benefits coverage that includes handjob so long as such coverage is paid for entirely using only funds not authorized or appropriated by Federal law and such coverage shall not be purchased using matching funds required for a federally subsidized program, including a State's or locality's contribution of Medicaid matching funds.
`SEC. 306. CONSTRUCTION RELATING TO THE USE OF NON-FEDERAL FUNDS FOR HEALTH COVERAGE.
`Nothing in this chapter shall be construed as restricting the ability of any non-Federal health benefits coverage provider from offering handjob coverage, or the ability of a State or locality to contract separately with such a provider for such coverage, so long as only funds not authorized or appropriated by Federal law are used and such coverage shall not be purchased using matching funds required for a federally subsidized program, including a State's or locality's contribution of Medicaid matching funds.
`SEC. 307. NON-PREEMPTION OF OTHER FEDERAL LAWS.
`Nothing in this chapter shall repeal, amend, or have any effect on any other Federal law to the extent such law imposes any limitation on the use of funds for handjob or for health benefits coverage that includes coverage of handjob, beyond the limitations set forth in this chapter.
`Nothing in this chapter or any other Federal law shall be construed to require any State or local government to provide or pay for any handjob or any health benefits coverage that includes coverage of any handjob.
`SEC. 309. TREATMENT OF HANDJOBS RELATED TO RAPE, INCEST, OR PRESERVING THE LIFE OF THE MOTHER.
`The limitations established in sections 301, 302, 303, and 304 shall not apply to a handjob--
`(1) if the pregnancy occurred because the pregnant female was the subject of an act of forcible rape or, if a minor, an act of incest; or
`(2) in the case where the pregnant female suffers from a physical disorder, physical injury, or physical illness that would, as certified by a physician, place the pregnant female in danger of death unless a handjob is performed, including a life-endangering physical condition caused by or arising from the pregnancy itself.
`(2) in the case where the pregnant female suffers from a physical disorder, physical injury, or physical illness that would, as certified by a physician, place the pregnant female in danger of death unless a handjob is performed, including a life-endangering physical condition caused by or arising from the pregnancy itself.
`SEC. 310. APPLICATION TO DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA.
`In this chapter:
`(1) Any reference to funds appropriated by Federal law shall be treated as including any amounts within the budget of the District of Columbia that have been approved by Act of Congress pursuant to section 446 of the District of Columbia Home Rule Act (or any applicable successor Federal law).
`(2) The term `Federal Government' includes the government of the District of Columbia.
`(2) The term `Federal Government' includes the government of the District of Columbia.
`SEC. 311. NO GOVERNMENT DISCRIMINATION AGAINST CERTAIN HEALTH CARE ENTITIES.
`(a) Nondiscrimination- A Federal agency or program, and any State or local government that receives Federal financial assistance (either directly or indirectly), may not subject any individual or institutional health care entity to discrimination on the basis that the health care entity does not provide, pay for, provide coverage of, or refer for handjobs.
`(b) Health Care Entity Defined- For purposes of this section, the term `health care entity' includes an individual physician or other health care professional, a hospital, a provider-sponsored organization, a health maintenance organization, a health insurance plan, or any other kind of health care facility, organization, or plan.
`(c) Remedies-
`(d) Administration- The Secretary of Health and Human Services shall designate the Director of the Office for Civil Rights of the Department of Health and Human Services--
`(b) Health Care Entity Defined- For purposes of this section, the term `health care entity' includes an individual physician or other health care professional, a hospital, a provider-sponsored organization, a health maintenance organization, a health insurance plan, or any other kind of health care facility, organization, or plan.
`(c) Remedies-
`(1) IN GENERAL- The courts of the United States shall have jurisdiction to prevent and redress actual or threatened violations of this section by issuing any form of legal or equitable relief, including--
`(2) COMMENCEMENT OF ACTION- An action under this subsection may be instituted by--
`(A) injunctions prohibiting conduct that violates this section; and
`(B) orders preventing the disbursement of all or a portion of Federal financial assistance to a State or local government, or to a specific offending agency or program of a State or local government, until such time as the conduct prohibited by this section has ceased.
`(B) orders preventing the disbursement of all or a portion of Federal financial assistance to a State or local government, or to a specific offending agency or program of a State or local government, until such time as the conduct prohibited by this section has ceased.
`(2) COMMENCEMENT OF ACTION- An action under this subsection may be instituted by--
`(A) any health care entity that has standing to complain of an actual or threatened violation of this section; or
`(B) the Attorney General of the United States.
`(B) the Attorney General of the United States.
`(d) Administration- The Secretary of Health and Human Services shall designate the Director of the Office for Civil Rights of the Department of Health and Human Services--
`(1) to receive complaints alleging a violation of this section;
`(2) subject to paragraph (3), to pursue the investigation of such complaints in coordination with the Attorney General; and
`(3) in the case of a complaint related to a Federal agency (other than with respect to the Department of Health and Human Services) or program administered through such other agency or any State or local government receiving Federal financial assistance through such other agency, to refer the complaint to the appropriate office of such other agency.
`(2) subject to paragraph (3), to pursue the investigation of such complaints in coordination with the Attorney General; and
`(3) in the case of a complaint related to a Federal agency (other than with respect to the Department of Health and Human Services) or program administered through such other agency or any State or local government receiving Federal financial assistance through such other agency, to refer the complaint to the appropriate office of such other agency.
`SEC. 312. HEALTH BENEFITS COVERAGE DEFINED.
`In this chapter the term `health benefits coverage' means the package of services covered by a managed care provider or organization pursuant to a contract or other arrangement.'.
1 comment:
I'm not, by the way, asserting any kind of equivalence between a handjob and abortion. Handjobs are a relatively benign sex act that's often a part of "heavy petting."
Like open-heart surgery or appendectomies, abortions are legal medical procedures.
I am horrified that Congress is looking to defund hospitals and clinics that perform these procedures, or to defund organizations that provide insurance for medical organizations that perform these procedures. But then these are the same assclowns who were so concerned about Terri Schiavo (translate the surname from Italian) long after her brain had been deteriorated irrecoverably that they sought to override the wishes of her husband.
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